he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
