she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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