apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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