That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
