There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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