I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
