girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
