I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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