sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
