you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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