People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
