I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
