all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
