why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
