your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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