Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
