Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
