Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
