So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
