Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
