If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
