She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
ok first of all what the fuck
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