I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
