margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
