for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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