Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
