she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
