its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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