You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
