took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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