Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He shit in the fireplace
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
