My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
