We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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