In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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