Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize