that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
