those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
