I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
