Me too!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
