This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
