Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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