Got a toothbrush?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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