He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
