Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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