absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
