Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
