I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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