have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
