I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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