gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
her vagine was all disorganized.
its not stalking. its research.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
