No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
