we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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