The maid of honor just puked.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she told me i tasted like america
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
