I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
