The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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