I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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