whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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