the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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