Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
