You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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