And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
