It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
