So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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