Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
