I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
