Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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