so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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