I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
