It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
